Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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