i wish my penis had a tongue
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
