Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
vagina is talking i cant
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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