I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
