NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
