How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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