no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
