I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
