I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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