Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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