If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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