If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I could fuck to npr.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize