Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
