Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize