Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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