my mouth tastes like poor choices
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Randomize
