I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
