Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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