i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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