she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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