it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
