Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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