I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
