Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
