My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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