Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize