i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My vagina is very pro this idea
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
