still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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