I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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