69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
