He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
