i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
