I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
