wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
