that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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