He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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