The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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