is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
