How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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