how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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