i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
