he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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