Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
