WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
