Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
