69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm too high and old for this...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
