Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
