Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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