was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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