Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
