this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
