CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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