shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
another moral hangover. fuck.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize