this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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