My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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