I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize