Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
