I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
