what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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