Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
