they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
