Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
soo... how was my night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
