We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
