We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
