he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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