Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
