Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
operation have a gay friend backfired
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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