i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
