And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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